Friday, September 4, 2009

What I learn today: Fear

FEAR. Who doesn't have one? I have a long list of it; I'm afraid of slithering snakes as much as of being rejected. I fear the dead as much as the undead.I have barotrauma and I'm claustrophobic as well. I can barely breathe when I hear speedy cars or motorcycles on the street, I can't even move everytime I hear fire trucks racing towards a burning building, and the list go on.

But the one thing I fear the most and perhaps the greatest fear of humanity is losing someone we truly love.

While “losing” doesn’t always mean “death”, it could also be by means of "separating ways" or let me just say “letting go” of the one you love just because they’re happier with somebody else. Mournful, yes?!

If you're approaching a stage like this, fear will suddenly flash into your head. You will start wondering if you will ever accept the fact that the beautiful moments you’ve shared together for a span of time will soon be left behind.

Thinking how one day your presence nor absence won’t bother your beloved anymore, how they would ignore you as if you never existed in their lives. Your dreams of having a future, growing old together fades away in a snap just because you can't stay beside them anymore. Itleaves you an awful, depressing feeling.

When a relationship hasn’t worked out how you always want it to be, you will end up letting go of each other and you start searching for your own “happiness” again. It is as simple as it may seem but have you ever experienced it?

Some couples who decides to separate somehow ends up as "being friends" but ending up as friends when you still love the other gives you a torturing pain. A pain that's surely unbearable, it challenges you inside-out. I realized, LOVE in some way, is deadly. It causes death to some people, others end up being single or having psychological problems. We fear love because we fear of losing it at the end.

There's is no such thing as one-way love and if you don't let go of that feeling wholeheartedly, obsession will confuse you of that feeling as true love. When you're done with a relationship, you must stop pretending you have already moved on because trying to convince yourself you're okay while at the back of your mind you’re still tightly holding on to that love is a dead end.

People make fun of those who committs suicide because of love calling them cowardly fools. But really, did you ever know the feeling of being dumped?

You wake up each day feeling lost, losing your sanity and have gone crazy. You go on through your day thinking nothing but your own selfish self. You stop trusting people. You start depriving yourself from others. You don't know what's the right thing to do or right emotion to feel anymore. You become sensitive and insensitive at the same time. You will hate the feeling of loving that person because the pain’s just killing you. It makes you furious and the madness in your heart leads you in doing things that will hurt those people who cares about you and you won’t realize it until you were slapped a thousand times. And guilt will just eat you up when you finally have a clearer vision of your self-inflicted destruction. You will never apprehend the situation… because you let yourself lose yourself...

Fear not and learn how to let go wholeheartedly because when you lose someone, it doesn't end there. It is a start of a new beginning! Think about your family, friends and a whole lot more opportunities out there waiting for you. =)

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...